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1. If you’re still hanging around after the Ultimate Blog Party, it’s nice to have “met” you.  Feel free to keep hanging around (and commenting on the inane hilarity I continue to post) as long as you’d like.

2. My dearest That Boy has been gone THREE STRAIGHT DAYS from early until far later than he should be with my car doing favors for other people.  I say my car, because even though we downsized to one car, the one we kept is indeed titled in my name.  Most of the time, I don’t mind sharing a car.  I say most, of course, until I’m stranded in my house for THREE STRAIGHT DAYS with places to go and errands to run and one That Boy who will not stop running off with my only source of transportation for 13 hours a day.  Boo.

3. I should have cleaned more while I couldn’t leave.  I didn’t.  Great.  Now I’m angry about not leaving and guilt-ridden about not cleaning.  Fab-u-lous.

4. I did manage to clean the office, and a storage bookcase that was in desperate need of attention.  Three bags of trash later (and a box that still needs to leave my house), and it’s looking pretty clean in here.  That is, if you ignore the cat hair tumbleweed I found under the worktable but have yet to find a vacuum for.

5. I hate vacuuming.  That Boy loves it.  I am totally ok with this arrangement.  When it’s vacuum time, I go into the office, shut the door, jam to loud ass music from my iTunes and play Bubble Spinner until it’s over.

6. The good people at the IRS told me they’re depositing my tax refund tomorrow (after 23487 years, I think).  They also told me my return was incorrect and had to be “adjusted”.  That makes one hold one’s breath while on hold for “a customer service agent” for 10 loooooong minutes with words like audit and penalty and federal frickin’ prison floating around one’s head.  As luck will have it, I have been spared.  The adjustment was because I missed a $390 tax credit apparently.  Let me say that again … there will be an extra $390 in my refund (if the damn thing ever shows up).  Yes, please.

7. A week from today is National Take Your Brat To Work Day.  You should do that.  Take your brat with you and entertain them for 8 hours photocopying your body parts and screwing around with the vending machines.  My mother has wrangled me into providing “supervision and activities” in the afternoon for the brats her employees are bringing in.  I don’t remember the legislative proclamation saying the day was called, “Bring Your Brat To Work So Em Can Entertain Them For Hours” Day, but I will oblige my mother nonetheless because she “gave me life”, and as I am consistently reminded, “can take it away when ever she wants”.

8. My brother and I totally saw “The Midwestern Fireball” last night.  We were outside letting the dogs out during the 1st period intermission of the Red Wings (are you a fan?  you should be.  it’s state law.) game when the sky lit up like it was noon for a couple seconds then faded back to black.  We were much less concerned than we probably should have been, now that I think about it.  Don’t put us on the front lines against the alien invasion, because apparently we’ll just chalk up giant flashes of light as “rogue lightening” even when the sky (and radar) are completely clear.  We were preoccupied dissecting an obviously terrible Stanley Cup first round prediction by some idiot blogger who (falsely) thinks teams from states that don’t have snow should win hockey games.

9. Are you ready for Stanley Cup season?  If that last one wasn’t enough of a warning: We are Red Wings people (um, because we’re for MI … and because they might be the winning-est franchise in the NHL and we like to back winners).  We (and by we, I mean me, obviously, and my imaginary friend that just crept right into my grammar all of a sudden) will reserve the right to blog about hockey during the playoffs whether or not you want to read about it.  We will (now this multiple pronoun is getting weird, but I feel like I need consistency …) expect you to either smile politely or cheer along for the Wings, but not for those other crap teams from your hometowns that you may be in love with.  This is especially true of Chicago and Pittsburgh.  Native Canadians will be excluded from this rule as their national law (not unlike the great state of MI) also mandates they be hometown hockey fans.  You have been warned.  /crazyhockeytalk

10.  Tomorrow, if That Boy lets me go near my precious vehicle, I have to return 3.2 million empty pop bottles.  They have been accumulating in the basement for much longer than is commonly decent.  Why not throw them away?  Well, first, that makes Mother Earth cry a little.  Second, each one of those little devils is worth a whole dime here in MI.  I had to pay them 10 damn cents for each one to leave the store, and by golly, I will get my dimes back.  Returning 3.2 million empties is not really on my list of “Coolest Things Em Could Ever Want To Do” nor does it make the “Marginally Ok Not Too Terribly Irritating Things Em Could Spend A Friday On”, but that little pile of dimes, which will be added to our Tropical Wedding (not ours, mind you) Vacation Fund, is motivation enough for me.  Oh, and the part where there are bags and bags and bags and bags of empty cans littering my basement like someone is building a shanty town.  That helps too.

A nice even 10.  Yes.  The round number monster has been appeased.

Sooooo, any weekend plans?  Any hockey trash talk?  Any life in bullet points you’d like to share?


ps, this post is linked to Jennifer’s 7 Quick Takes Friday at Conversion Diary.


1. I have been trying to convince myself that I had not acquired a spring head cold for a week, even through the sniffling and all around awful head cold-ness.  I am delusional, apparently.  Now I am trying to convince myself that this head cold will not be going to my chest (as is the general outcome of every single head cold I’ve ever had) so I don’t end up with pneumonia next week.  Go away, cold.

2. I am trying to be patient with That Boy and his idiosyncrasies and emotions in the aftermath of his grandmother’s (relatively) sudden death.  Being sick and being patient are not inherent friends in my world.  I’m trying, I swear.

3. This is the week of mysterious injuries.  Two nights ago, I cut my hand open in my sleep.  Well, I can only assume that’s what happened as it wasn’t cut when I went to bed and it was when I got up.  I’m not sure if I was attacked by closet gremlins, the cat, or my night stand.  Then today, I woke up with a split lip.  I’m going to blame that one on being sick and mouth-breathing my poor lips into desert like conditions, but still.  Boo.  What does tomorrow hold?  A broken leg?

4. There is nothing on TV today worth watching.  Sickie pajama wearing Em does not like this revelation.

5. Did you see the news that B-Rock (my favorite president) gets to nominate a replacement for Justice Stevens?  Yes!  The politics of this scenario were anticipated in the lead up to the last presidential election, and I’m kind of stoked that this president gets to nominate not one, but two justices.  Perhaps the Roe balance can shift from a tenuous 5-4 to a much more comfortable 6-3.  I could be stoked about that.  You may not be.  I’m ok with that.

6. Jamie Oliver might be my new best friend.  He kind of makes me feel guilty though, for the garbage we do let into our food even though we’re aware that it’s garbage.  The take out pizza we’re eating tonight is probably a sweet example (and oh so not GLUTEN free.  oops.)

7. Add to the list of stuff that pisses me off: people who blog hop during carnivals like the Ultimate Blog Party and leave comments like “I’ll follow you if you follow me. K Thanks Bye.”  Ugh.  Stop being so transparent and annoying, people.  I know everyone will do anything for traffic (except, well, my lazy ass), but come on.  Go visit the blogs that you think are interesting.  Leave a comment if you have something to say.  Discover people you didn’t know before.  That’s all cool.  Please don’t just click on every link to annoy the shit out of people with your petty never ending desperate attempts for traffic.  If you’re interesting, people will follow you.  If they don’t … who cares?  /soapbox.

8. I have the spring cleaning bug today.  While I’m sick.  I’m trying to tell my body it needs to stay very still and fight this stupid cold so I don’t get the death plague, but sitting still gives me lots of time to look around and notice clutter that needs to go or fingerprints on door frames (which I absolutely detest).  Le boo.  Someone come over and be my spring cleaning sherpa before I go crazy, ok?

9. Best part of Lent being over? Mountain Dew slushies.

10. Worst part of Lent being over? The heartburn I inevitably get from Mountain Dew slushies.  Crap.  I’m not drinking other pop, though, still, which is rockin’ cool.

What’s going on in your bullet pointed life this week?


ps, this post is linked to Jennifer at Conversion Diary for 7 Quick Takes Friday.  I’m just not cool enough to always post the darn thing on an actual Friday.  Ha.

Hi there.  I’m Em.

(if you’re a regular reader, you’re probably concerned that this is about to turn into the bloggy version of an AA meeting …)

If you’re stumbling here from The Ultimate Blog Party 2010, welcome welcome welcome!  I’d love for you to pull up a chair, grab a cup of coffee (or your favorite Irish whiskey … an an Oberon …), and hang out in my little corner of the ever growing blogosphere with me.  But … no one likes to party with a stranger, especially a creepy stranger, so let’s talk facts first.

I’m a 20something.  I started saying 20something when I could no longer say “early 20s”.  I have a whole bunch of quarter life angst about that whole aging thing, and so you’ll have to bear with the non-specifics.  I live in community with my adorable husband (a term that even after the forever we’ve been together makes me both ridiculously joyful and squeamish), my mother, my little brother and little brother’s girlfriend.  We all live in one big old farmhouse like the sandal wearing hippie I am (and they really aren’t …).

Em is not my real name, and I refer to the husband (Ah! Twice in two sentences!) as That Boy … just so you don’t get confused.  That Boy and I have been together just over 9.5 years. The looming decade anniversary makes me nervous … more nervous than 30 … maybe.  We don’t have small people yet, but we wouldn’t necessarily mind some showing up soon (That Boy would not admit to saying that outloud, I’m positive).

I work with high school kids for a living.  They entertain the snot out of me.  I wear sandals from snowmelt to snowfall.  I’m a big fan of sustainable living, recycling (because it saves money and the planet), and real food.  I’m one of those coupon clipping frugal girls, and I spend a lot of the summer pretending to be a farmer.  You should be stoked for all the inane pictures of my little green garden that are coming this summer … brace yourself.  I really like ice cream and complaining about things I don’t like on the internet.  I’m a bit of a perfectionist, and occasionally a little too lazy to do anything about it.

Average Radical started as a place for me to tell the world stories about the (sometimes bizarre, sometimes hilarious) goings on of my life, rant about what’s wrong with the world, and occasionally complain about my on again off again relationship with GLUTEN (booooo).  It’s become a sweet place for me to love on people, talk religion, share the occasional dollar stretching trick or recipe, and trash talk the infamous Britt about our ongoing head to head Battle of the Scales.

I kind of like it here.

I’m hoping you do too.  I’m giddy as a school girl when people hang out and comment, so if you’re digging what you’re reading, I’d love for you to party with me anytime.  I’m game if you are.

Now, back to that Oberon …



Did you know the UBP involved prizes?!  I totally didn’t at first.  Yea, I’m that brilliant sometimes.  Anywho, you can check out the full list of prizes on 5 Minutes for Mom.  Not that I think I’m the luckiest girl in the world, but if I were to go about picking winners, I’d love the Toshiba laptop (um, duh, who wouldn’t?!), the NIV 90 Day Bible, the Jillian Michaels Get Fit Pack (oooooh The Shred, how you scare me), or any of the retail store/Amazon gift cards.  Heck, I’d love to win just about anything (I’m not a contest winner historically), but mostly, I’m just happy to party along with the UBP’10.  Thanks again for stopping by!

Past Tense